Humans- living creatures who function within the sphere of bounded rationality and overbearing emotions. Everything we do or feel is a product of our judgment and what our heart whispers to us. Instincts are not always rational or logical, hence making decisions based on them can sometimes lead to unfavourable and unintended outcomes. So could we dissect the two primary factors of decision-making, and follow their trains of thought individually?
Romantic relationships are quintessential to this debate. We all want to be the perfect partner to our significant other. We want to support them, be there for them and live blissful lives with them.
Rationality dictates that we try to analyse and prepare for every possible situation that may arise. We mentally construct hypothetical scenarios and pin down precisely what words to use and what efforts to make to minimise the risk of discord. But is it possible to rationally predict every possible outcome?
Relationships do not flourish on rationality alone. What makes them work are the genuine feelings for the other which need no premeditated words or actions. A spontaneous hug or freely flowing tears may say it all! If we bypass all forethought and listen to our emotions, we would be able to live in the moment and be more care-free. Expressing our thoughts and feelings enables us to comprehend those of our partner, where logical reasoning fails.
However, our happiness should not be dependent on our partners. It isn’t conditional that the things that our partners enjoy doing, we should love it too. As individuals, we should value the liberty to discover our passions, preferences and opinions. We need to exchange thoughts and feelings, not change them in ourselves or our partners.
So, it isn’t all cherries and cream- this untainted train of thought possesses its flaws. Often, what we believe is the right thing to do in a moment, isn’t. We all perceive situations differently.
Thus, the pertinent questions pose themselves- is there a right way? Is there a set proportion of the ‘rational’ and the ‘emotional’ to be mixed, creating the incorruptible concoction of a perfect relationship? The answer lies in not trying to work out a formula but in admitting that emotions and rationality work best when they work together. They are better friends than we tend to believe. They feed and reinforce one another. Emotions and rationality are not necessarily at odds with each other. Emotions are rational when they come at the right time and for the right reason- when they are bang on target and the object of emotion justifies the degree of reaction.
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